Стихи по теме "Профессии"
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Teachers

By Kevin William Huff

Teachers

Paint their minds

Guide their thoughts

Share their achievements

And advise their faults

Inspire a Love

Of knowledge and truth

As you light the path

Which leads the youth

For our future brightens

With each lesson you teach

Each smile you lengthen

Each goal you help reach

For the dawn of each poet

Each philosopher and king

Begins with a teacher

And the wisdom they bring

My teacher wasn’t half as nice as your seems to be

By Roald  Dahl

My teacher wasn’t half as nice as your seems to be

His name was Mister Unsworth and he taught us history

And when you didn’t know a date he’d get you by the ear

And start to twist  while you sat there

Quite paralyzed with fear

He’d twist and twist  and twist your ear

And twist more and more

Until at last the ear came off and landed on the floor

Our class was full off one-eared boys

I’m certain there were eight

Who’d had them twisted off because

They didn’t know the date

So let us now praise the teachers who today all are so fine

And yours are particular is totally divine

Barbershop (by Martin Gardner)

When you visit the barber
And sit in his chair,
Don’t squirm
Like a worm
While he’s cutting your hair.

Don’t shiver
And quiver
And bounce up and down.
Don’t shuffle
And snuffle
And act like a clown.

Each wiggle
Will jiggle
The blades of the shears.
Clip-clip,
Clip-clip.
Those scissors can slip
And snip
Off a tip
Of one of your tender pink ears!

Teachers! Teachers!

By John Foster

Teachers! Teachers!

They’re the strangest creatures.

Miss Twitch is a warty witch.
Mr Bryant is a bone-crunching giant.
Miss Blake is a poisonous snake
And Mrs Abercrombie is a crazy zombie.

Teachers! Teachers!
They’re the strangest creatures.

Mr Gizzard is a wicked wizard
Miss O’Toole is a gruesome ghoul.
Mrs Benneton is a bony skeleton.
And Mrs Abercrombie is a crazy zombie.

Teachers! Teachers!
They’re the strangest creatures.

Mr Sweaty is a hairy yeti.
Mrs Flagon is a fire-breathing dragon.
Mr Duke is a grisly spook
And Mrs Abercrombie is a crazy zombie.

Teachers! Teachers!
They’re the strangest creatures.

Mr Cape is a ginormous ape.
Miss Spatula has fangs like Dracula
Mr Knoll is a fearsome troll
And Mrs Abercrombie is a crazy zombie.

Teachers! Teachers!
They’re the strangest creatures.

Miss O’Keith has bloodstained teeth.
Mr Yoga is a grotesque ogre.
Mr Dread is a headless head
And Mrs Abercrombie is a crazy zombie.

Teachers! Teachers!
They’re the strangest creatures.

Five Police officers

By  Dr. Suess

Five Police offices standing by a door

One became a traffic cop; then there were four.

Four  Police offices whatching over me,

One took home a lost boy; then there were three.

Three police officers dressed all in blue,

One stopped a speeding car, and then there were two.

Two police officers –how fast they run!

One caught a bad man ,and then they was one.

One police officer  saw a smoke far a away.

He called the firehouse, and the fire person saved the day.

When I grow up

By Anon

Someday when I grow up

I’ll have a job to do

I’ll write a book or be a cook

Or work inside a zoo.

I might want to drive a bus

Or teach children to read

I’ll lead a train or fly a plane

Or plant a little seed.

 I might want to fight a fire

Or be a doctor too.

 I’ll build a house or sew a blouse

Or sail the ocean blue.

So many jobs that I might choose

I wander What I will be

I’ll work and learn

Until its my turn

To find the right job for me.

Nobody Knows where our bus driver goes

By Bruce Lansky

Nobody knows

where our bus driver goes

While all of us kids are at school

Does he study a map?

Does he  take a nice nap?

Or lazily lounge in the pool

Nobody knows

where our bus driver goes

Nor what he will do with his time

Does he work at the fair?

Is he cutting hair?

Or secretly out fighting crime

Nobody knows

where our bus driver goes

He’s probably a spaceman from the Moon

But he might be spy

Or a rock and roll guy

Who’s wailing on ‘lectric guitars

Nobody knows

where our bus driver goes

He leaves us each morning at eight

All that we see

Is our bus at three

And we’re sure glad he’s not late

Labor Day

By Lill Pluto

People work. People play.

That’s why we have Labor Day.

Plumbers ,bakers, painters ,vets,

Fishermen with giant nets.

Firefighters ,engineers

Barbers snipping with their scissors.

Teachers ,waiters ,nurses, cocks

Authors writing  their thrilling books.

Carpenters and deputies

People who take care of bees.

No matter it is you do

There is one thing that’s always true

Every worker needs to rest.

I hope your Labor Day’s the best!

So you want to be a writer?

Charles Bukowski - 1920-1994

if it doesn't come bursting out of you
in spite of everything,
don't do it.
unless it comes unasked out of your
heart and your mind and your mouth
and your gut,
don't do it.
if you have to sit for hours
staring at your computer screen
or hunched over your
typewriter
searching for words,
don't do it.
if you're doing it for money or
fame,
don't do it.
if you're doing it because you want
women in your bed,
don't do it.
if you have to sit there and
rewrite it again and again,
don't do it.
if it's hard work just thinking about doing it,
don't do it.
if you're trying to write like somebody
else,
forget about it.

if you have to wait for it to roar out of
you,
then wait patiently.
if it never does roar out of you,
do something else.

if you first have to read it to your wife
or your girlfriend or your boyfriend
or your parents or to anybody at all,
you're not ready.

don't be like so many writers,
don't be like so many thousands of
people who call themselves writers,
don't be dull and boring and
pretentious, don't be consumed with self-love.

Who works with wood?

Bruce Larkin

Who works with wood? Carpenters do.
Stylists give you a great hairdo.
Truck drivers move things from place to place.
A police detective works hard on a case.
Doctors and nurses help you feel better.
A mail carrier brings you a letter.
One day you’ll have a job, possibly two.
First you must decide what you want to do.

An English joke “ A visit to the doctor”