Океан скороговорок на английском языке
материал по английскому языку на тему

The ocean of English Tongue Twisters

How many boards

Could the Mongols hoard

If the Mongol hordes got bored?

Denise sees the fleece,

Denise sees the fleas.

At least Denise could sneeze

and feed and freeze the fleas.

Sheena leads, Sheila needs.

The thirty-three thieves thought that they thrilled the throne throughout Thursday.

Something in a thirty-acre thermal thicket of thorns and thistles thumped and thundered threatening the three-D thoughts of Matthew the thug - although, theatrically, it was only the thirteen-thousand thistles and thorns through the underneath of his thigh that the thirty year old thug thought of that morning.

Can you can a can as a canner can can a can?

You cuss, I cuss, we all cuss, for asparagus!

Roberta ran rings around the Roman ruins.

Clean clams crammed in clean cans.

Six sick hicks nick six slick bricks with picks and sticks.

I wish to wish the wish you wish to wish, but if you wish the wish the witch wishes, I won't wish the wish you wish to wish.

There was a fisherman named Fisher

who fished for some fish in a fissure.

Till a fish with a grin,

pulled the fisherman in.

Now they're fishing the fissure for Fisher.

To sit in solemn silence in a dull, dark dock,

In a pestilential prison, with a life-long lock,

Awaiting the sensation of a short, sharp shock,

From a cheap and chippy chopper on a big black block!

To sit in solemn silence in a dull, dark dock,

In a pestilential prison, with a life-long lock,

Awaiting the sensation of a short, sharp shock,

From a cheap and chippy chopper on a big black block!

A dull, dark dock, a life-long lock,

A short, sharp shock, a big black block!

To sit in solemn silence in a pestilential prison,

And awaiting the sensation

From a cheap and chippy chopper on a big black block!

by W.S. Gilbert of Gilbert and Sullivan from The Mikado

Picky people pick Peter Pan Peanut-Butter, 'tis the peanut-butter picky people pick.

Luke Luck likes lakes.

Luke's duck likes lakes.

Luke Luck licks lakes.

Luck's duck licks lakes.

Duck takes licks in lakes Luke Luck likes.

Luke Luck takes licks in lakes duck likes.

Seventy seven benevolent elephants

There those thousand thinkers were thinking how did the other three thieves go through.

Santa's Short Suit Shrunk

I was born on a pirate ship

Hold your tongue while saying it.

Wayne went to Wales to watch walruses.

In 'ertford, 'ereford and 'ampshire, 'urricanes 'ardly Hever 'appen. (from the film "My Fair Lady")

One-one was a race horse.

Two-two was one too.

One-one won one race.

Two-two won one too.

Celibate celebrant, celibate celebrant, celibate celebrant, ...

Willy's real rear wheel

If Pickford's packers packed a packet of crisps would the packet of crisps that Pickford's packers packed survive for two and a half years?

Six sleek swans swam swiftly southwards

Gobbling gargoyles gobbled gobbling goblins.

Did Dick Pickens prick his pinkie pickling cheap cling peaches in an inch of Pinch or framing his famed French finch photos?

What a terrible tongue twister,

what a terrible tongue twister,

what a terrible tongue twister...

When you write copy you have the right to copyright the copy you write.

A big black bug bit a big black dog on his big black nose!

Elizabeth's birthday is on the third Thursday of this month.

Ann and Andy's anniversary is in April.

Hassock hassock, black spotted hassock. Black spot on a black back of a black spotted hassock.

How many cookies could a good cook cook If a good cook could cook cookies? A good cook could cook as much cookies as a good cook who could cook cookies.

How much ground would a groundhog hog, if a groundhog could hog ground? A groundhog would hog all the ground he could hog, if a groundhog could hog ground.

How much pot, could a pot roast roast, if a pot roast could roast pot.

How much wood could Chuck Woods' woodchuck chuck, if Chuck Woods' woodchuck could and would chuck wood? If Chuck Woods' woodchuck could and would chuck wood, how much wood could and would Chuck Woods' woodchuck chuck? Chuck Woods' woodchuck would chuck, he would, as much as he could, and chuck as much wood as any woodchuck would, if a woodchuck could and would chuck wood.

Mary Mac's mother's making Mary Mac marry me.

My mother's making me marry Mary Mac.

Will I always be so Merry when Mary's taking care of me?

Will I always be so merry when I marry Mary Mac?

Mr. Tongue Twister tried to train his tongue to twist and turn, and twit an twat, to learn the letter "T".

Pete's pa pete poked to the pea patch to pick a peck of peas for the poor pink pig in the pine hole pig-pen.

She saw Sheriff’s shoes on the sofa. But was she so sure she saw Sheriff’s shoes on the sofa?

Through three cheese trees three free fleas flew.

While these fleas flew, freezy breeze blew.

Freezy breeze made these three trees freeze.

Freezy trees made these trees' cheese freeze.

That's what made these three free fleas sneeze.

Birdie birdie in the sky laid a turdie in my eye.

If cows could fly I'd have a cow pie in my eye.

How many cans can a cannibal nibble

if a cannibal can nibble cans?

As many cans as a cannibal can nibble

if a cannibal can nibble cans.

Thirty-three thirsty, thundering thoroughbreds thumped Mr. Thurber on Thursday.

Four furious friends fought for the phone.

Plymouth sleuths thwart Luther's slithering.

Bobby Bippy bought a bat.

Bobby Bippy bought a ball.

With his bat Bob banged the ball

Banged it bump against the wall

But so boldly Bobby banged it

That he burst his rubber ball

"Boo!" cried Bobby

Bad luck ball

Bad luck Bobby, bad luck ball

Now to drown his many troubles

Bobby Bippy's blowing bubbles.

Black background, brown background.

Very well, very well, very well ...

Tie twine to three tree twigs.

Rory the warrior and Roger the worrier were reared wrongly in a rural brewery.

Mares eat oats and does eat oats,

and little lambs eat ivy.

A Kid will eat ivy too, wouldn't you?

Three short sword sheaths.

Green glass globes glow greenly.

I stood sadly on the silver steps of Burgess's fish sauce shop, mimicking him hiccuping, and wildly welcoming him within.

As I was in Arkansas I saw a saw that could out saw any saw I ever saw saw. If you happen to be in Arkansas and see a saw that can out saw the saw I saw saw I'd like to see the saw you saw saw.

The queen in green screamed.

How many berries could a bare berry carry,

if a bare berry could carry berries?

Well they can't carry berries

(which could make you very wary)

but a bare berry carried is more scary!

What did you have for breakfast?

- rubber balls and liquor!

What did you have for lunch?

- rubber balls and liquor!

What did you have for dinner?

- rubber balls and liquor!

What do you do when your sister comes home?

- rubber balls and liquor!

Six slimy snails sailed silently.

I thought, I thought of thinking of thanking you.

Seven slick slimey snakes slowly sliding southward.

Red Buick, blue Buick

Roofs of mushrooms rarely mush too much.

He threw three balls.

The great Greek grape growers grow great Greek grapes.

Singing Sammy sung songs on sinking sand.

We're real rear wheels.

Rhys watched Ross switch his Irish wristwatch for a Swiss wristwatch.

I wish to wash my Irish wristwatch.

Near an ear, a nearer ear, a nearly eerie ear.

On a lazy laser raiser lies a laser ray eraser.

Scissors sizzle, thistles sizzle.

Tom threw Tim three thumbtacks.

How much caramel can a canny canonball cram in a camel if a canny canonball can cram caramel in a camel?

He threw three free throws.

Fresh French fried fly fritters

Gig whip, gig whip, gig whip, ...

2 Y's U R.

2 Y's U B.

I C U R.

2 Y's 4 me!

Little Mike left his bike like Tike at Spike's.

Eddie edited it.

Yellow butter, purple jelly, red jam, black bread.

Spread it thick, say it quick!

Yellow butter, purple jelly, red jam, black bread.

Spread it thicker, say it quicker!

Yellow butter, purple jelly, red jam, black bread.

Don't eat with your mouth full!

Wow, race winners really want red wine right away!

The ruddy widow really wants ripe watermelon and red roses when winter arrives.

I'll chew and chew until my jaws drop.

How many sheets could a sheet slitter slit if a sheet slitter could slit sheets?

Chester Cheetah chews a chunk of cheep cheddar cheese.

Real rock wall, real rock wall, real rock wall

Peggy Babcock, Peggy Babcock, Peggy Babcock … (personal name)

If you're keen on stunning kites and cunning stunts,

buy a cunning stunning stunt kite.

Two tiny tigers take two taxis to town.

Sounding by sound is a sound method of sounding sounds.

Yally Bally had a jolly golliwog. Feeling folly, Yally Bally Bought his jolly golli' a dollie made of holly! The golli', feeling jolly, named the holly dollie, Polly. So Yally Bally's jolly golli's holly dollie Polly's also jolly!

Out in the pasture the nature watcher watches the catcher. While the catcher watches the pitcher who pitches the balls. Whether the temperature's up or whether the temperature's down, the nature watcher, the catcher and the pitcher are always around. The pitcher pitches, the catcher catches and the watcher watches. So whether the temperature's rises or whether the temperature falls the nature watcher just watches the catcher who's watching the pitcher who's watching the balls.

John, where Peter had had "had had", had had "had";

"had had" had had his master's approval.

Excited executioner exercising his excising powers excessively.

Pail of ale aiding ailing Al's travails.

If you can't can any candy can,

how many candy cans can a candy canner can

if he can can candy cans ?

Octopus ocular optics.

This is the sixth zebra snoozing thoroughly.

I saw Esau kissing Kate.

I saw Esau, he saw me, and she saw I saw Esau.

A slimey snake slithered down the sandy sahara.

Suzie Seaword's fish-sauce shop sells unsifted thistles for thistle-sifters to sift.

I eat eel while you peel eel

Nothing is worth thousands of deaths.

Casual clothes are provisional for leisurely trips across Asia.

It's not the cough that carries you off,

it's the coffin they carry you off in!

She said she should sit.

Will you, William? Will you, William? Will you, William?

Can't you, don't you, won't you, William?

I wish you were a fish in my dish

She stood on the balcony, inexplicably mimicking him hiccuping, and amicably welcoming him in.

Dust is a disk's worst enemy.

I see a sea down by the seashore.

But which sea do you see down by the seashore?

Old Mr. Hunt

had a cuddy punt

Not a cuddy punt

but a hunt punt cuddy.

As one black bug, bled blue, black blood. The other black bug bled blue.

I'm not the fig plucker,

nor the fig plucker's son,

but I'll pluck figs

till the fig plucker comes.

A gazillion gigantic grapes gushed

gradually giving gophers gooey guts.

Aluminum, linoleum, molybdenum, aluminum, linoleum, molybdenum, aluminum, linoleum, molybdenum

Thin grippy thick slippery.

A tree toad loved a she-toad,

Who lived up in a tree.

He was a three-toed tree toad,

But a two-toed toad was she.

The three-toed tree toad tried to win,

The two-toed she-toad's heart,

For the three-toed tree toad loved the ground,

That the two-toed tree toad trod.

But the three-toed tree toad tried in vain.

He couldn't please her whim.

From her tree toad bower,

With her two-toed power,

The she-toad vetoed him.

The owner of the inside inn was inside his inside inn with his inside outside his inside inn.

If you notice this notice,

you will notice that this notice is not worth noticing.

If you understand, say "understand".

If you don't understand, say "don't understand".

But if you understand and say "don't understand".

how do I understand that you understand. Understand!?

There those thousand thinkers were thinking where did those other three thieves go through.

Five frantic frogs fled from fifty fierce fishes.

One smart fellow, he felt smart.

Two smart fellows, they felt smart.

Three smart fellows, they felt smart.

Four smart fellows, they felt smart.

Five smart fellows, they felt smart.

Six smart fellows, they felt smart.

Seven sleazy shysters in sharkskin suits sold sheared sealskins to seasick sailors.

I would if I could! But I can't, so I won't!

But a harder thing still to do.

What a to do to die today

At a quarter or two to two.

A terrible difficult thing to say

But a harder thing still to do.

The dragon will come at the beat of the drum

With a rat-a-tat-tat a-tat-tat a-tat-to

At a quarter or two to two today,

At a quarter or two to two.

Love's a feeling you feel when you feel you're going to feel the feeling you've never felt before.

Truly rural, truly rural, truly rural, ...

A turbot's not a burbot, for a turbot's a butt, but a burbot's not.

I know a boy named Tate

who dined with his girl at eight eight.

I'm unable to state what Tate ate at eight eight

or what Tate's tête à tête ate at eight eight.

The seething sea ceaseth; thus the seething sea sufficeth us.

I slit a sheet, a sheet I slit, upon a slitted sheet I sit.

A pessimistic pest exists amidst us.

Knife and a fork bottle and a cork

that is the way you spell New York.

Chicken in the car and the car can go,

that is the way you spell Chicago.

Five fuzzy French frogs Frolicked through the fields in France.

Two to two to Toulouse?

Dr. Johnson and Mr. Johnson, after great consideration, came to the conclusion that the Indian nation beyond the Indian Ocean is back in education because the chief occupation is cultivation.

Round and round the rugged rock the ragged rascal ran.

Buckets of bug blood, buckets of bug blood, buckets of bug blood

If coloured caterpillars could change their colours constantly could they keep their coloured coat coloured properly?

Thirty-three thousand people think that Thursday is their thirtieth birthday.

How much ground could a grounghog grind if a groundhog could grind ground?

How may saws could a see-saw saw if a see-saw could saw saws?

As he gobbled the cakes on his plate,

the greedy ape said as he ate,

the greener green grapes are,

the keener keen apes are

to gobble green grape cakes,

they're great!

How much myrtle would a wood turtle hurdle if a wood turtle could hurdle myrtle?

A wood turtle would hurdle as much myrtle as a wood turtle could hurdle if a wood turtle could hurdle myrtle.

A fly and flea flew into a flue,

said the fly to the flea 'what shall we do?'

'let us fly' said the flea

said the fly 'shall we flee'

so they flew through a flaw in the flue.

How much dew does a dewdrop drop

If dewdrops do drop dew?

They do drop, they do

As do dewdrops drop

If dewdrops do drop dew.

If Kantie can tie a tie and untie a tie,

why can't I tie a tie and untie a tie like Kantie can.

Bake big batches of bitter brown bread.

She sits in her slip and sips Schlitz.

Which wristwatch is a Swiss wristwatch?

Whoever slit the sheets is a good sheet slitter.

Mummies make money.

Crush grapes, grapes crush, crush grapes.

An elephant was asphyxiated in the asphalt.

A black bloke's back brake-block broke.

This is a zither.

There was a minimum of cinnamon in the aluminum pan.

A lady sees a pot-mender at work at his barrow in the street.

"Are you copper-bottoming 'em, man?"

"No, I'm aluminiuming 'em, Mam."

I am not a pheasant plucker,

I'm a pheasant plucker's son

but I'll be plucking pheasants

When the pheasant plucker's gone.

Suzie, Suzie, working in a shoeshine shop.

All day long she sits and shines,

all day long she shines and sits,

and sits and shines, and shines and sits,

and sits and shines, and shines and sits.

Suzie, Suzie, working in a shoeshine shop.

Tommy, Tommy, toiling in a tailor's shop.

All day long he fits and tucks,

all day long he tucks and fits,

and fits and tucks, and tucks and fits,

and fits and tucks, and tucks and fits.

Tommy, Tommy, toiling in a tailor's shop.

While we were walking, we were watching window washers wash Washington's windows with warm washing water.

Sweet sagacious Sally Sanders said she sure saw seven segregated seaplanes sailing swiftly southward Saturday.

Betty Botter bought some butter but, said she, the butter's bitter.

If I put it in my batter, it will make my batter bitter.

But a bit of better butter will make my bitter batter better.

So she bought some better butter, better than the bitter butter,

put it in her bitter batter, made her bitter batter better.

So 't was better Betty Botter bought some better butter.

How much oil boil can a gum boil boil if a gum boil can boil oil?

No nose knows like a gnome's nose knows.

There are two minutes difference from four to two to two to two, from two to two to two, too.

There once was a man who had a sister, his name was Mr. Fister. Mr. Fister's sister sold sea shells by the sea shore. Mr. Fister didn't sell sea shells, he sold silk sheets. Mr. Fister told his sister that he sold six silk sheets to six shieks. The sister of Mr. Fister said I sold six shells to six shieks too!

Sally sells sea shells by the sea shore. But if Sally sells sea shells by the sea shore then where are the sea shells Sally sells?

She stood on the steps of Burgess's Fish Sauce Shop, mimicking him hiccuping and amicably welcoming him in.

Swan swam over the sea.

Swim, swan, swim!

Swan swam back again.

Well swum swan!

Sally is a sheet slitter, she slits sheets.

She sells sea shells on the sea shore;

The shells that she sells are sea shells I'm sure.

So if she sells sea shells on the sea shore,

I'm sure that the shells are sea shore shells.

You know New York.

You need New York.

You know you need unique New York.

What noise annoys an oyster most?

A noisy noise annoys an oyster most.

Ripe white wheat reapers reap ripe white wheat right.

Blake's black bike's back brake bracket block broke.

Each Easter Eddie eats eighty Easter eggs.

She slits the sheet she sits on.

A rough-coated, dough-faced, thoughtful ploughman strode through the streets of Scarborough; after falling into a slough, he coughed and hiccoughed.

A twister of twists once twisted a twist.

and the twist that he twisted was a three-twisted twist.

now in twisting this twist,

if a twist should untwist,

would the twist that untwisted untwist the twists?

Red lorry, yellow lorry.

Mrs Hunt had a country cut front

in the front of her country cut pettycoat.

John, where Molly had had "had", had had "had had". "Had had " had had the teachers approval

Miss Smith's fish-sauce shop seldom sells shellfish.

Great gray goats

Whether the weather be fine

or whether the weather be not.

Whether the weather be cold

or whether the weather be hot.

We'll weather the weather

whether we like it or not.

The batter with the butter is the batter that is better!

There's a sandwich on the sand which was sent by a sane witch.

How many yaks could a yak pack pack if a yak pack could pack yaks?

Twelve twins twirled twelve twigs.

If you stick a stock of liquor in your locker

it is slick to stick a lock upon your stock

or some joker who is slicker

is going to trick you of your liquor

if you fail to lock your liquor with a lock.

Clowns grow glowing crowns.

Can you imagine an imaginary menagerie manager

imagining managing an imaginary menagerie?

Sister Suzie sewing shirts for soldiers

Such skill as sewing shirts

Our shy young sister Suzie shows

Some soldiers send epistles

Say they'd rather sleep in thistles

Than the saucy, soft short shirts for soldiers Sister Suzie sews.

Red leather, yellow leather, ...

Richard's wretched ratchet wrench.

A box of biscuits,

a box of mixed biscuits,

and a biscuit mixer.

When a doctor doctors a doctor,

does the doctor doing the doctoring

doctor as the doctor being doctored wants to be doctored or

does the doctor doing the doctoring doctor as he wants to doctor?

What to do to die today at a minute or two to two. A terribly difficult thing to say and a harder thing to do. A dragon will come and beat his drum Ra-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-too at a minute or two to two today. At a minute or two to two.

If two witches would watch two watches, which witch would watch which watch?

The soldier's shoulder surely hurts!

She sees seas slapping shores.

A loyal warrior will rarely worry why we rule.

Mr. See owned a saw and Mr Soar owned a seesaw.

Now See's saw sawed Soar's seesaw before Soar saw See.

Six sick sea-serpents swam the seven seas.

There was a little witch which switched from Chichester to Ipswich.

A proper cup of coffee from a proper copper coffee pot.

Don't trouble trouble, until trouble troubles you! If you trouble trouble, triple trouble troubles you!

Theophilus Thadeus Thistledown, the succesful thistle-sifter, while sifting a sieve-full of unsifted thistles, thrust three thousand thistles through the thick of his thumb. Now, if Theophilus Thadeus Thistledown, the succesful thistle-sifter, thrust three thousand thistles through the thick of his thumb, see that thou, while sifting a sieve-full of unsifted thistles, thrust not three thousand thistles through the thick of thy thumb.

Shoe section, shoe section, shoe section, ...

A smart fella, a fella smart.

It takes a smart fella to say a fella smart.

She is a thistle-sifter. She has a sieve of unsifted thistles and a sieve of sifted thistles and the sieve of unsifted thistles she sifts into the sieve of sifted thistles because she is a thistle-sifter.

Admidst the mists and coldest frosts,

With stoutest wrists and loudest boasts,

He thrusts his fists against the posts,

And still insists he sees the ghosts.

Don't spring on the inner-spring this spring or there will be an offspring next spring.

A flea and a fly in a flue,

were imprisoned. So what could they do?

Said the fly, "Let us flee".

Said the flea, "Let us fly".

So they flew through a flaw in the flue.

King Thistle stuck a thousand thistles in the thistle of his thumb.

A thousand thistles King Thistle stuck in the thistle of his thumb.

If King Thistle stuck a thousand thistles in the thistle of his thumb,

How many thistles did King Thistle stick in the thistle of his thumb?

Five fat friars frying flat fish.

The bottle of perfume that Willy sent

was highly displeasing to Millicent.

Her thanks were so cold

that they quarreled, I'm told

o'er that silly scent Willy sent Millicent

If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port,

And the bus is interrupted as a very last resort,

And the address of the memory makes your floppy disk abort,

Then the socket packet pocket has an error to report!

If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash,

And the double-clicking icon puts your window in the trash,

And your data is corrupted 'cause the index doesn't hash,

then your situation's hopeless, and your system's gonna crash!

You can't say this? What a shame, sir!

We'll find you another game, sir.

If the label on the cable on the table at your house,

Says the network is connected to the button on your mouse,

But your packets want to tunnel on another protocol,

That's repeatedly rejected by the printer down the hall,

And your screen is all distorted by the side effects of gauss,

So your icons in the window are as wavy as a souse,

Then you may as well reboot and go out with a bang,

'Cause as sure as I'm a poet, the sucker's gonna hang!

When the copy of your floppy's getting sloppy on the disk,

And the microcode instructions cause unnecessary risk,

Then you have to flash your memory and you'll want to ram your rom.

Quickly turn off the computer and be sure to tell your mom!

Ray Rag ran across a rough road.

Across a rough road Ray Rag ran.

Where is the rough road Ray Rag ran across?

A Tudor who tooted the flute

tried to tutor two tooters to toot.

Said the two to the tutor,

"Is it harder to toot or

to tutor two tooters to toot?"

Mrs Puggy Wuggy has a square cut punt.

Not a punt cut square,

Just a square cut punt.

It's round in the stern and blunt in the front.

Mrs Puggy Wuggy has a square cut punt.

Tim, the thin twin tinsmith.

Thin sticks, thick bricks

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck would chuck wood? A woodchuck would chuck how much a woodchuck would chuck if a woodchuck would chuck wood.

Larry Hurley, a burly squirrel hurler, hurled a furry squirrel through a curly grill.

Six twin screwed steel steam cruisers.

A nurse anesthetist unearthed a nest.

I thought a thought.

But the thought I thought

Wasn't the thought I thought I thought.

If the thought I thought I thought,

Had been the thought I thought,

I wouldn't have thought I thought.

She sells sea shells on the seashore.

The seashells she sells are seashells she is sure.

A noise annoys an oyster, but a noisy noise annoys an oyster more!

The king would sing, about a ring that would go ding.

To begin to toboggan,

first buy a toboggan.

But don't buy too big a toboggan.

Too big a toboggan is too big a toboggan to buy to begin to toboggan.

Moses supposes his toeses are roses,

but Moses supposes erroneously.

For Moses, he knowses his toeses aren't roses,

as Moses supposes his toeses to be.

I wish I were what I was when I wished I were what I am.

Three tree turtles took turns talking tongue twisters.

If three tree turtles took turns talking tongue twisters,

where's the twisters the three tree turtles talked?

Give me the gift of a grip-top sock,

A clip drape shipshape tip top sock.

Not your spinslick slapstick slipshod stock,

But a plastic, elastic grip-top sock.

None of your fantastic slack swap slop

From a slap dash flash cash haberdash shop.

Not a knick knack knitlock knockneed knickerbocker sock

With a mock-shot blob-mottled trick-ticker top clock.

Not a supersheet seersucker rucksack sock,

Not a spot-speckled frog-freckled cheap sheik's sock

Off a hodge-podge moss-blotched scotch-botched block.

Nothing slipshod drip drop flip flop or glip glop

Tip me to a tip top grip top sock.

(articulation warm-up for actors)

If a Hottentot taught a Hottentot tot to talk ere the tot could totter, ought the Hottentot tot be taught to say ought or naught or what ought to be taught 'er?

How many cans can a canner can if a canner can can cans? A canner can can as many cans as a canner can if a canner can can cans.

Federal Express is now called FedEx.

When I retire I'll be a FedEx ex.

But if I'm an officer when I retire, I'll be an ex Fedex Exec.

Then after a divorce, my ex-wife will be an ex FedEx exec's ex.

If I rejoin FedEx in time, I'd be an ex ex FedEx exec.

When we remarry, my wife will be an ex ex FedEx exec's ex.

Which witch snitched the stitched switch for which the Swiss witch wished?

Does this shop sport short socks with spots?

Customer: Do you have soothers?

Shopkeeper (thinking he had said "scissors"): No, we don't have scissors.

Customer: Soothers!

Shopkeeper : No, we don't have scissors or soothers.

... scissors or soothers, scissors or soothers, scissors or soothers, ...

(actual conversation in a shop in Canada)

Tommy, Tommy, toiling in a tailor's shop.

All day long he fits and tucks,

all day long he tucks and fits,

and fits and tucks, and tucks and fits,

and fits and tucks, and tucks and fits.

Tommy, Tommy, toiling in a tailor's shop.

No need to light a night-light on a light night like tonight.

I wish to wish, I dream to dream, I try to try, and I live to live, and I'd die to die, and I cry to cry but I dont know why.

My mommy makes me muffins on Mondays.

Terry Teeter, a teeter-totter teacher, taught her daughter Tara to teeter-totter, but Tara Teeter didn't teeter-totter as Terry Teeter taught her to.

I bought a bit of baking powder and baked a batch of biscuits. I brought a big basket of biscuits back to the bakery and baked a basket of big biscuits. Then I took the big basket of biscuits and the basket of big biscuits and mixed the big biscuits with the basket of biscuits that was next to the big basket and put a bunch of biscuits from the basket into a biscuit mixer and brought the basket of biscuits and the box of mixed biscuits and the biscuit mixer to the bakery and opened a tin of sardines.

Said to be a diction test for would-be radio announcers: To be read clearly, without mistakes, in less than 20 seconds (from Coronet Magazine, August 1948).

Name of a sketch written by Dion Titheradge for a London musical revue and originally performed by Cicely Courtneidge in the early 1930's. The comedienne Bea Lillie performed the sketch in an American film starring Bing Crosby in 1938, and that film's name was "Doctor Rhythm". The sketch became famous and Lillie did perform it on numerous occasions on radio, as well as record it on two 78rpm records.

A bitter biting bittern bit a better biting bittern

And the better biting bittern bit the bitter biting bittern back.

Said the bitter biting bittern to the better biting bittern

“I’m a bitter biting bittern bitten back”

Certified certificates from certified certificate certifiers.

How many snacks could a snack stacker stack,

if a snack stacker snacked stacked snacks?

Who washed Washington's white woolen underwear when Washington's washer-woman went west?

Three grey geese

In a green field grazing,

Grey were the geese

And green was the grazing.

Of all the felt I ever felt I never felt felt that felt like that felt felt.

The sixth sick sheik's sixth sick sheep.

Thirty-six thick silk threads

Silly shoe-fly pie fans sell chilly shoe-fly pie pans.

Tricky Tristan tracked a trail of tiny turtles.

How many tiny turtles did Tricky Tristan track?

Tricky Tristan tracked twenty two tiny turtles;

that's how many tiny turtles tricky Tristan tracked.

You're behaving like a babbling, bumbling band of baboons. (from Harry Potter)

Giddy kiddy goat,

Giddy kiddy goat,

Giddy, giddy, giddy, giddy, giddy, kiddy goat.

He wanted to desert his dessert in the desert!

I broke a brickbat and a brickbat broke me.

A wooden worm wouldn't be worthy of worship but would he if he wondered and worried about what he would be worthy of if he wasn't wooden?

Nine nice night nurses nursing nicely.

Farrell's features fabulous food 'n' fantastic fountain fantasies for frolicking, fun-filled festive families.

Who holds Joe's nose when he blows? Joe knows.

A singly circularly linked list.

The Final Fixing of the Foolish Fugitive

Feeling footloose, fancy-free and frisky, this feather-brained fellow finagled his fond father into forking over his fortune. Forthwith, he fled for foreign fields and frittered his farthings feasting fabulously with fair-weather friends. Finally, fleeced by those folly filled fellows and facing famine, he found him-self a feed flinger in a filthy farm-lot. He fain would have filled his frame with foraged food from fodder fragments.

"Fooey! My father's flunkies fare far fancier," the frazzled fugitive fumed feverishly, frankly facing fact.

Frustrated from failure and filled with forebodings, he fled for his family. Falling at his father's feet, he floundered forlornly. "Father, I have flunked and fruitlessly forfeited further family favors . . ."

But the faithful father, forestalling further flinching, frantically flagged his flunkies to fetch forth the finest fatling and fix a feast.

But the fugitive's fault finding frater, faithfully farming his father's fields for free, frowned at this fickle forgiveness of former falderal. His fury flashed, but fussing was futile.

His foresighted father figured, "Such filial fidelity is fine, but what forbids fervent festivities? The fugitive is found! Unfurl the flags! With fanfare flaring, let fun, frolic and frivolity flow freely, former failures forgotten and folly forsaken."

Forgiveness forms a firm foundation for future fortitude.

(Sir John Hensch of London)

Thirty-three thousand feathers on a thrushes throat.

四十是四十

四十不是十四

十四不是四十

十四是十四

sìshí shì sìshí

sìshí bǔ shì shísì

shísì bǔ shì sìshí

shísì shì shísì

When I went to Warsaw, I saw a saw that could outsaw any saw that I ever saw. Now, if you go to Warsaw and see a saw that could outsaw the saw I saw, I'd like to see your saw saw.

If practice makes perfect and perfect needs practice,

I’m perfectly practiced and practically perfect.

Hercules, a hardy hunter, hunted a hare in the Hampshire Hills. Hit him on the head with a hard, hard hammer and he howled horribly!

Frank's fisher fishes on Friday for Frank's Friday fresh fried fish-fest.

I saw a saw in Warsaw. Of all the saws I ever saw I never saw a saw that could saw, like the saw I saw in Warsaw.

Dick had a dog,

the dog dug,

the dog dug deep,

how deep did Dick's dog dig?

Dick had a duck,

the duck dived,

the duck dived deep,

how deep did Dick's duck dive?

Dick's duck dived as deep as Dick's dog dug!

It's a nice night for a white rice fight.

If a fella met a fella in a field of fitches

Can a fella tell a fella where a fella itches?

I feel a feel a funny feel a funny feel feel I,

If I feel a funny feel a funny feel feel I.

Never trust

a sloppy crust,

a squally gust,

ships that rust,

or girls with lust.

But if you must,

you may trust

to go bust,

and back to dust,

which serves you just.

A sad story about Nobody

This is a story about four people named Everybody, Somebody, Anybody and Nobody. There was an important job to be done and Everybody was sure that Somebody would do it. Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it. Somebody got angry about that, because it was Everybody's job. Everybody thought Anybody could do it, but Nobody realised that Everybody wouldn't do it. It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody, when Nobody did, what Anybody could have done.

Mr Knott and Mr Watt on the Phone

Hello?

Who's calling?

Watt.

What's your name?

Watt's my name.

Yes, what is your name?

My name is John Watt.

John what?

Yes.

... I'll call on you this afternoon.

All right, are you Jones?

No, I'm Knott.

Will you tell me your name, then?

Will Knott.

Why not?

My name is Knott.

Not what?

Not Watt. Knott.

What?

Bill had a billboard, Bill also had a board bill. The billboard bored Bill so Bill sold the billboard to pay for the board bill.

Faith's face cloth, Faith's face cloth, Faith's face cloth.