Essay Family Relations

                                        Family relationship.

In our life there are a lot of things that really matter to us and play an important role. Some people say their career comes first but most people can't imagine their life without family. Family is the beginning of a person's life and family tights constantly keep hold, give us strength, love and care. In my opinion, it is very important to have good family relations as they form our world, character and behaviour.

To begin with, every person needs strong support from people around him. If you grow in a family full of love, help, understanding, you have the right moral believes and a firm ground under your feet. Unfortunately, some people lack a good family example, due to the devorce of their parents or just depressive and spoilt nature of the marriage that actually doesn't exist. I suppose a single family can't set the right direction for a son or a daughter, while a traditional family provides strong bounds that help find your place in the world. Nevertheless, there are different situations and sometimes it is a hard choice whether to try to keep a family or separate as spouses don't feel love and passion as they used to.

Speaking about family relations, first of all, comes  the question how to find the right partner for a lifetime. What makes another person your ideal Mr or Mrs Right? Is it a good idea to consider a practical part of relations, such as money, a good job, future outlook? Is  love and understanding enough to build a firm family? The English proverb says 'When poverty comes in through the door, loves flies out the window.' It means when a couple gets married in love and then they run out of money, they might stop loving each other.

On the other hand, there are loving hearts who stand through thick and thin to be together and finincial difficulties can't separate them. The most memorable literature characters are O'Henry's Jim and Della who were ready to give away the most precious possessions for each other. They show how priceless their love is and the narrator compares the sacrificial gifts of love with those of the Biblical Magi.

It goes without saying, a family is a very complicated unity that requires compromises and flexibility. Our modern world gives us different models of happy families. I guess the secret ingredient is patience and desire to be together no matter what. A sparkle in loving hearts can burn forever and that little thing makes odds and difficulties easy to overcome.

But family relations are not only between a husband and wife, they are also between parents and children. Here appears a problem of the  generation gap At one point young people struggle for freedom, they want to set their rules, stand on their ground, be independent. It may hurt parents' feelings and they are helpless  losing control of their children. It takes time to get to the next level of relations, change views and not to lose each other's credit. The period from puberty to legal adulhood is considered a real trial. Teenagers want to behave like adults. Firstly, they feel they are big enough to do most things. Secondly, they are willing to show off. However, they are much dependent of their parents. As a result, a number of family conflicts occurs. Sometimes some inner help is required and good phsycologists are ready to give their hand. Time is the great healer.

The most important values in the family life are love, mutual understanding, respect and help. Most families keep traditions that they pass from generation to generation, they have their little things, treasures, secret recipes they are proud of and they help them going on when hard times come. This spirit of belonging to your clan of relatives is the strongest power giving energy, inspiration and sense of life.

Nowadays some people deny this importance of family relations, they don't want to care about their parents or relatives, they try to avoid any communication with them. As a result, they are more cynical and stony-hearted and against having their own family. Their slogan is 'Live fast, die young.' Some people say they are childfree and it is their conscious choice of not being a parent in the name of personal freedom. They choose not to impose any responsibility on the others.

As for me, it is against our human nature and can bring only disappointment and emptiness. People are born to be together, keep family relations and make new families. This way we make our life continue and get the feeling of being a part of society.

Taking into consideration so many different views and opinions on family life, I come to the conclusion that this topic is very complicated. Young families prefer to live separately from their parents but keep good relations, help each other, have celebrations, go on holidays. A hundred years ago people used to live in big families with grandparents and having 10 children was not surprising. Now we have one or three children and try to have a flat for one family only. The concepts of the family  have totally changed as people tend to think about themselves first and the respect of elders is getting less.

In addition, people want to have the best for their family and they tend to provide more options for fewer children. It is perfect but on the other hand they ruin family values. Late marriages have become more popular as people first think about their career and it lowers the level of fertility and leads to less number of children. Equal rights play a high role, people can't distribute family responsibilities which causes divorces and separation. In spite of that, everyone seeks love, tenderness and sweet words. Couples get remarried, start family life again and again as if they search for perfection.

Phsycologists recommend to start with yourself – love yourself, be happy, make your life full of joy and after that you are ready to find your partner, be happy together and raise children. They say 'Men are from Mars and women are fom Venus' meaning men and women can never understand each other or live in harmony. The problem is that we live in the world of give and take relations. If a person feels that he gives more than receives resentment can develop but communication can bring the relationship back into balance.

I suppose it goes without saying we should not bottle up our emotions and try to speak with our nearest and dearest more. But it is also necessary to listen to their opinion, respect different ideas, walk in your partner's shoes. Keep a cool head and a warm heart in family desputes.

In conclusion, I would like to express my point of view. The family is a place where you come after a hard day, where you find love, care and comfort. It is a place where your soul gets energy and nothing can defeat you. A strong family acts as a buffer against life problems. People are not just a group of individuals who are related but they are a unity where all members feel safe and accepted.

Families are there to support you and help you without being judgmental. (Kong)