«Principles of effective communication»

«Principles of effective communication»

         Student: E.Katkova

       Teacher: E.Izyumova

Saratov

2018

Contents

Introduction…………………….………...………………………………………. 3

Part 1. Forms of communication……..…………………………………...……… 3

Part 2. Common Mistakes and Main Principles of Successful Communication……………………………...…………………………………… 5

Conclusion…………………………………………………………………...…… 7

Bibliography…………………………………..…………………………………. 10

Appendix (Questioner)……..………………………………………..................... 11

Introduction

Communication has always been one of the vital forms in human existence. People  always have necessity to share their knowledge, thoughts and emotions with each other. With the development of technologies communication has transformed into variety of forms. But still our life and our place in the society in  most part depend on our ability to communicate with other people

The aims of this study are:

- to identify the most common communicative rules, which turn any kind of communication into comfortable and successful.

- to find out whether modern teenagers are able to apply these rules in their everyday life.  

Methods of this research are statistical survey, analysis of scientific data on the psychological laws of communication

Part 1 Forms of communication

Communication is a human intercourse that satisfies vital needs by means of:

-  sharing experience and knowledge with other people;

-  implementation of joint activities through grouping;

-  getting sympathy, compassion, help, support and recognition.

The beginning of communication between ancient people resulted in the appearance of civilized society. A primitive man could not survive alone in severe climate. It was vitally important for him to join other people to agree on conditions of cooperative hunting and distribution of prey and social roles. At first, such communication was non-verbal, without using speech, it was based on mimicry and gestures.

As far as social relations have become complicated due to the need to discuss more difficult topics and to keep and pass knowledge to the next generations, speech and verbal communication appeared. From that moment a human intercourse has reached a qualitatively higher level.

The process of communication consists directly of the very act of communication, in which the communicants take part. There should 2 or more of them. Communicants have to perform an action that we call intercourse – talk, listen, gesticulate, allow oneself read mimic information.

Each case has its’ own concrete connection channel. While speaking over the phone organs of speech and hearing are considered to be such a channel. And in such a case we have audio-verbal channel. Form and content in a letter are accepted by visual (visual- verbal) channel.

Shaking hands is the way of passing friendly greeting by means of kinesthetic-tactile (motorial-tactile) channel. If we can guess by a suit/costume/ person’s nationality then we got by means of viewing (visual) channel, because nobody said anything.

Psychologists mark out different kinds of communication.

1 By meaning of content it can be:

- Material (when persons exchanging things and activity products)

- Cognitive (knowledge exchanging)

- Certified (exchanging  of mental/ psychical or physiological status)

- Motivation (exchanging byincentives, targets? interests, motives, needs)

- Active (exchanging byactivities, operations, abilities and skills)

2 Communication can be:

Direct – by means of personal contact and direct perception of communicants while contacting.

Mediate – related with using of special arrangement, instruments (telephones, computers, computer programs).

Indirect – by means of agents who can be represented by other people/

3. Depending on communication strategy it can be:

Opened /overt/ – when interlocutor has a wish and a skill to express clearly the viewpoint; and is also ready to take into account other interlocutors viewpoints.

Closed – when interlocutors have neither wishes nor skills to express clearly their viewpoints, attitudes, information.

4. Depending on purpose communication can be:

“Communication of masks” or formal communication. If there is no wish to understand and to take into account interlocutor’s singularity, habitual masks are used (politeness, severity, indifference, modesty, sympathy and so on). So a set of faces, gestures, standard phrases are used to conceal true emotions and towards interlocutor.

Primitive communication means to assess a personality as a necessary or obstructive subject. If this subject is necessary, someone actively comes into contact. If it is obstructive, someone rejects it. If someone gets what it wants from an interlocutor, then someone loses interest in this communication without hiding it.

Formal-role communication means the content and mean of communication are regulated someone uses knowledge about interlocutor’s social role instead of knowledge of the interlocutor’s personality (teacher – pupil, doctor – patient).

Business communication means if it is necessary someone takes into consideration interlocutor’s characteristics of personality, character, age and mood.

Mental communication is a confidential communication with friends and companions. Someone can frankly touch different subjects and expect on understanding.

Manipulative communication is aimed at extracting benefits from an interlocutor by different means (flattery, intimidation, misrepresentation, deception, demonstration of kindness)

Social communication is non-objective communication, when people say something should be said instead of what they think is a closed communication, because people’s points of view on a particular issue have no meaning and don’t determine the nature of communication.

Part 2 Common Mistakes and Main Principles of Successful Communication

 Communication skills are necessary for everyone for full and qualitative interaction with others, for adaptation in society.

Everyone has minimum communication skills, but often it is not enough to solve different problems and tasks, that we have to deal with in everyday life. This means that it is necessary to develop and improve these skills.

Communication is typical to all living beings/ But only a human being makes the process of communication conscious containing verbal and nonverbal interactions.

The purposes of communication of modern person give an answer to the question: “Why do people communicate?” A person may have various purposes, being. Being the means of satisfaction those purposes satisfy social, cultural, creative, cognitive, aesthetic and many other needs.

During communication a person often forgets about the purpose of communication, does not keep it in the process of communication; follow interlocutor’s provocation, to his/her own and interlocutor’s emotions and other barriers. And then instead of achieving a communication aim, a conflict rises.

People often don’t realize an interlocutor’s needs and interests which were the reason for communication. Different people have different points of view, different world view, self-interest, which can be different with the points of view of other people.

Competent communication with people, when we have enemies, friends, allies, partners, but have no enemies, is the best way of communication.

Proper human intercourse when we avoid making enemies and on the contrary whenever possible make friends, allies, partners is the best way of human communication.

‘The Hedgehogs’ Dilemma’ by A. Schopenhauer illustrates the collision between the need and the challenge of communication: “A number of porcupines huddled together for warmth on a cold day in winter. But as they began to prick one another with their quills, they were obliged to disperse. However the cold drove them together again when just the same thing happened. At last, after many turns of huddling and dispersing, they discovered that they would be best off remaining at a little distance from one another in a mutual need of warmth”.

A man is pricked by surrounding society as well and this hurts his mind. The need for communication drives people together but mutual disagreeable qualities make to avoid prickly contacts and to keep the distance.

Studying psychological literature and monitoring communication helps someone to formulate the following typical mistakes of interpersonal communication:

Mistake № 1. Reluctance and inability to hear an interlocutor which is exaggerated by excessive concentration on one’s own personality, interests and feelings.

Mistake № 2. The loss of contact and inability to hear an interlocutor, caused by a lack of knowledge of an interlocutor’s dissatisfaction with needs which were reasons for communication. An interlocutor feels a lack of understanding and a lack of attention that’s why loss all the interest for communication and that’s why a person loses all the interest for communication and become withdrawn.

Mistake № 3. Resistance to development. People spent a lot of strength to find out and to prove reasons of their unwillingness to change and to broaden someone’s consciousness with frank admission of different points of view, alternatives, possibilities instead of intelligence development and admitting mistakes.

Mistake № 4. Searching of general approval, dependence of someone’s opinion deprive someone independence and self-esteem and leads to humiliated situation in society.

Mistake № 5. Negative thinking is the denial and pessimistic thinking when someone focus on something that he/she doesn’t want instead of he/she wants. The consequence of negative thinking is negative speech which prevents to achieve a constructive result.

Mistake № 6. A manipulation is a trying of hidden control by people’s actions with the purpose of taking advantage of self-profit and self-affirmation. Manipulation destroys trust and respect between interlocutors.

Psychologists from all over the world study and describe conditions of a comfortable and efficient human intercourse in different circumstances and for various aims which they call Principles of efficient communication. They are the key for proper communication.

Principle1.

Let people be as they are and don’t try to remodel them to your standards. We are all different and have a certain number of positive and negative qualities.

The attempts  to  remodel a  person makes him retreat into himself and avoid meeting people.

Principle 2.

Say only good things about people. Try to find positive qualities in each person and specificate them.

We all nave shortcomings and the secret of good relations is in the ability not to notice them.

Each feels good or bad attitude towards him and accordingly he reveals and becomes closer to us or goes into his shell and  drifts apart.

Principle 3.

Each person makes a lot of efforts to increase his own significance in other people’s eyes.

One should renounce his exclusive superiority and let others feel themselves significant as well.

Arrogance and insolence are the attempts to be a person you are not in reality, but false impression passes quickly.

Principle 4.

Show a sincere interest in life and feelings of other person.

The sincere interest causes reciprocal candor and openness.

Principle 5.

Refrain from straightforward criticism towards a person you are talking to and admit his equity to be right, assume the possibility of your own delusion.

Each action can be treated from the opposite points of view, and it’s doubtful, which is right.

Principle 6.

Never answer to irritation with the same feeling. Take it as a request for help, support and sympathy.

Feeling irritation, do your best to find the true course of such emotion and delete it trying not to harm the relationship.

Principle 7.

Try to avoid unconstructive debates. Communication must help to set relations between people and not to ruin them.

While arguing one hears only himself. A person should defend his opinion constructively and tactfully.

Principle 8.

Pay compliments and make presents to a person, they let him know he is highly evaluated, significant and esteemed.

Satisfy demands of a person to hear what he wants to, it makes him strong and self-confident.

Principle 9.

While speaking to a person, meet his eyes and address him by name.

Responsive and tactful treatment strengthens the relations between people.

A person’s name is the most valuable word for him, it makes him focuses on  his interlocutor’s  speech.

Principle 10.

People want something joyful and positive. Negative emotions push a person away.

One should prefer positive emotions to despondency and complaints. Only positive emotions make a person more attractive to people around him.

Conclusion

            Negative experience of communication aggravate personality and psychological human’s complex and it is often made to use unconstructive method of psychological self-defense in a form of:

• aggressive, hostile reaction on words and actions of people around;

• self-isolation, separation of people around;

• neglectful, insolent treatment of connection with people, their feelings, words and actions.

The usage of unconstructive ways of psychological defense leads to the feelings of destructive loneliness and hostility. That distort with malevolence intonation (strength, tone, speed) of speech, someone’s look, mimicry and gestures without fail. By-turn the appearance of malevolence spurns people around and it can destroy any relations.

Testing among the students of 7-th grade of Gimnasium№1 within the framework of the survey shows that everyone aims at communication when he is understood and admitted. But not everyone himself gives such understanding and admission to others.  

I have interviewed my classmates and here are the results of me work.

Most of my classmates consider communication pleasant and they are satisfied with their communication.

Halve of my classmates have friends at school, one-third – out of school and 1-sixth prefer to spend time with elder people.

In general they consider themselves equal to their partner, however about 15% often demonstrate their superiority in the communication.

Almost all think that partner’s opinion is as important as their own one and they do not try to remodel the partner to their standards.

It is necessary to point out that about 70% of my classmates prefer a partner who can openly talk about his or her life. They consider honesty the most important in the intercourse.

All of my classmates are sure that knowledge of foreign language helps the efficient communication.

According to the results of the survey we can come to the conclusion that most part of the students of 7-th grade in Gymnasium №1 try to apply basic principles of effective communication          
Our students aim at communication to be understood and admitted. But not everyone himself gives such understanding and admission to others.  
           From people’s answers it is possible to emphasize the following dependence.

 A person who doesn’t feel sincere interest to the partner during communication loses interest for this communication. He begins to practice destructive ways of self-defense unconsciously, that always leads to conflicts. A person, who finds satisfaction in communication and reaches a desired effect make his position clear in dignity. This is the very secret of successful communication.

Thereby, a person still doesn’t have sufficient set of quality for successful communication even if a person has a good command of a foreign language. A person needs to develop an ability to listen and to hear, to understand and to accept, to show interest and to keep up an interlocutor. A person also needs to lose and ability to get irritated and to show haughty, to depress an interlocutor and put oneself in a low position.

Study and practical usage of psychological principles of communication is the basis of effective human intercourse. A man who got acquainted with them understands that he has right to have his own porcupine’s quills, his own truth. However he is to choose either to be right and lonely or to have relationships with other people, restrain his temper and know when to stop.

Bibliography

1. http://donmetodist.ru/ (Захараш Т.Б.Психология общения).
2. https://studfiles.net/preview/976032/ (Столяренко Л.Д.: Основы психологии).  
3. https://yandex.ru  (Рогов Е.И.: Психология общения. - М.: Владос, 2003.)

Анкетирование на тему «Психология комфортного общения»

1. Общение с другим людьми для меня чаще всего:

А) приятное и полезное;

Б) напряженное и бесполезное;

В) вынужденное и неприятное.

2. Круг моего общения чаще всего составляют:

А) сверстники вне школы и секций;

Б) товарищи по школе и секциям;

В) взрослые члены моей семьи и другие взрослые.

3. Я считаю, что окружающие чаще всего:

А) не понимают, не ценят и не уважают меня;

Б) понимают, ценят и уважают меня.

4. В общении с другими людьми я чаще всего:

А) всячески демонстрирую свое превосходство;

Б) терплю превосходство над собой других людей;

В) чувствую себя равным собеседнику.

5. В общении с другими людьми считаю необходимым:

А) стараться первым высказать свое мнение и настаивать на нем, что бы не говорил собеседник;

Б) выслушать собеседника, попытаться понять его точку зрения и найти взаимопонимание;

В) сделать вид, что выслушал собеседника и продолжать настаивать на своем;

Г) выслушать собеседника, если наши мнения не совпадут, сразу согласиться с ним, не высказывая своей точки зрения.

6. Я уверен в том, что:

А) окружающих надо воспитывать и внушать им свою точку зрения;

Б) критика и осуждение обижают собеседника и разрушают отношения;

В) критика и осуждение помогают окружающим понять, как правильно себя вести;

Г) людям неприятны нытики, плохое настроение надо скрывать;

Д) окружающих надо принимать такими, как они есть, быть терпимыми к их особенностям и признавать за ними право на свое мнение;

Е) если у меня плохое настроение или неприятности, то я должен искренне делиться с окружающими своими чувствами и переживаниями.

Ж) во время разговора с человеком не надо смотреть на него, чтобы не сбиваться с мыслей;

З) при разговоре с человеком надо смотреть ему в глаза (лицо).

7. Мне приятно общаться с людьми, которые:

А) проявляют ко мне интерес и уважение;

Б) держатся гордо и независимо;

В) много и откровенно рассказывают о своей жизни.

8. Я считаю, что:

А) вокруг много искренних людей, готовых поддержать и прийти на помощь;

Б) никто никому не станет помогать бескорыстно;

В) сдержанность и такт в отношения с людьми мешают искренности;

Г) сдержанность и такт в отношения с людьми являются основой приятных и успешных отношений.

9. Я согласен с утверждением, что:

А. Знание и понимание языка, на котором изъясняется собеседник является гарантом достижения понимания в общении.

Б. Знание и понимание языка, на котором изъясняется собеседник является важной составляющей успешного общения, однако нежелание услышать, понять и принять мнение собеседник может сделать знание языка бесполезным.

10. Если человек изъясняется на незнакомом мне иностранном языке,           то я:

А. Не смогу понять отношение говорящего ко мне.

Б. Мимика, жесты и интонация говорящего могут не донести суть слов, но чаще всего сообщат уважает ли меня говорящий, настроен ли он дружелюбно и доброжелательно или же он высокомерен, агрессивен и нетерпим.

Спасибо за Вашу искренность!